It's like a parade of train wrecks.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
