he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
