No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
