Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
