Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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