Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
