you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
