maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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