guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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