Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
