Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
