I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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