I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
