butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
okay pat passed out under dana's car
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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