He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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