I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
