dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
