You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
