I must be too annoying 4 u.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
