i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
