guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
