It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
