Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
