Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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