Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
