biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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