You can't motorboat a personality
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
