I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
