You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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