i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
