Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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