im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
