I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
