Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
