'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
