she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
