Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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