Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
