Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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