Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
