At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i think im in europe. pls send help
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