That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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