I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
time to smoke my breakfast
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
