The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
