It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
