yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Boobs speak an international language.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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