i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize
