Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
