we're blogging at a bar
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Randomize
