tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
